Do you remember the first time someone ask you to pray out loud? I sure do. It was Father’s day 1999, there was a big crowd at Faith Baptist Church in Louisa. I was a newly converted 27 year old man that didn't know the difference from the Old Testament to the new…no kidding, I really was that dumb. At the end of the service we were prompted to stand. I immediately started to position myself directly behind the person in front of me, using him as a sort of camouflage. I learned that trick early in my Christian walk, don’t be an easy target you know. One more thing I picked up while in Basic Training, avoid eye contact, especially with drill sergeants & preachers. I gave every not so subtle clue that I had no interest in being called on what so ever.
My tactic had worked well up until this point. The preacher said: “Lets bow our heads”. We all did. I thought I was good to go. Then he said: “Brother Castle, why don’t you dismiss us?” My head sprung up like a jack in the box, our eyes locked as I brought my right hand up to my chest, pointing to myself & mouthed the word “Me” with the most confused look I could muster. I was hoping there was another brother Castle that he was addressing. My hopes were destroyed in a single motion. His head nodded in affirmation.
Then it felt as if time stopped. Second seemed like an eternity as I tried to find the right words. I didn't really pay attention when others prayed, so there was no way I could just repeat what the last guy said. I couldn't remember what the proper words were. I didn't know how to sound like a Christian.
While the blood rushed to my feet & I felt faint, my legs and arms started to go numb & tingle. There were several thoughts racing through my mind, could I say no? Does anyone say no to this guy? If I did say no, would I be shunned? If I did pray & messed up would I get in trouble? Maybe they would withdraw the right hand of fellowship…or worse, maybe I would have to pay one of those “tithes” I hear everyone grumbling about! I've got a baby at home! I can’t afford another bill!
It would be great to tell you that I opened my mouth & the Holy Ghost filled it with the most eloquent & sanctified prayer that has ever been prayed. I wish it was that easy sometimes. Listen up all of you who are just starting out with this thing called Christianity, there is a lesson here. In comparison to other prayers I had heard, I tanked. I mean really…really tanked! As I started speaking from an extremely dry mouth, my closing prayer was nothing more than a bunch of mumbled, barely audible words stringed together with long pauses and “Ums”. I did remember “Amen” though.
After I was done & people started filing out, the preacher came to me & said “Sorry, I didn't know”. Great. More proof that I really sucked at this Christian thing. Just to let you know I didn't end up passing out, nor did they kick me out or make me pay a “tithe”. I think they felt sorry for me.
Looking back on that experience I can’t help but to laugh. I had no idea at the time God would eventually call me to preach. I got a glimpse of the future in that very same church house a short time later when my wife Maggie told me she could see me preaching one day. Really? Did you miss that prayer from Hades last week? I sure do love her, she always sees the best in me.
That prayer was the first of many public prayers I have now prayed. It may sound very strange, but I sometimes wonder if that wasn't the best prayer I have ever prayed. I say that because I had not “Learned” to pray yet. No formulas, no favorite scriptures to quote, no memorized words. Just me & God & my open heart.
Maybe I didn't fail after all. Hope to see you soon!
Live for Christ,
Pastor Dan
My tactic had worked well up until this point. The preacher said: “Lets bow our heads”. We all did. I thought I was good to go. Then he said: “Brother Castle, why don’t you dismiss us?” My head sprung up like a jack in the box, our eyes locked as I brought my right hand up to my chest, pointing to myself & mouthed the word “Me” with the most confused look I could muster. I was hoping there was another brother Castle that he was addressing. My hopes were destroyed in a single motion. His head nodded in affirmation.
Then it felt as if time stopped. Second seemed like an eternity as I tried to find the right words. I didn't really pay attention when others prayed, so there was no way I could just repeat what the last guy said. I couldn't remember what the proper words were. I didn't know how to sound like a Christian.
While the blood rushed to my feet & I felt faint, my legs and arms started to go numb & tingle. There were several thoughts racing through my mind, could I say no? Does anyone say no to this guy? If I did say no, would I be shunned? If I did pray & messed up would I get in trouble? Maybe they would withdraw the right hand of fellowship…or worse, maybe I would have to pay one of those “tithes” I hear everyone grumbling about! I've got a baby at home! I can’t afford another bill!
It would be great to tell you that I opened my mouth & the Holy Ghost filled it with the most eloquent & sanctified prayer that has ever been prayed. I wish it was that easy sometimes. Listen up all of you who are just starting out with this thing called Christianity, there is a lesson here. In comparison to other prayers I had heard, I tanked. I mean really…really tanked! As I started speaking from an extremely dry mouth, my closing prayer was nothing more than a bunch of mumbled, barely audible words stringed together with long pauses and “Ums”. I did remember “Amen” though.
After I was done & people started filing out, the preacher came to me & said “Sorry, I didn't know”. Great. More proof that I really sucked at this Christian thing. Just to let you know I didn't end up passing out, nor did they kick me out or make me pay a “tithe”. I think they felt sorry for me.
Looking back on that experience I can’t help but to laugh. I had no idea at the time God would eventually call me to preach. I got a glimpse of the future in that very same church house a short time later when my wife Maggie told me she could see me preaching one day. Really? Did you miss that prayer from Hades last week? I sure do love her, she always sees the best in me.
That prayer was the first of many public prayers I have now prayed. It may sound very strange, but I sometimes wonder if that wasn't the best prayer I have ever prayed. I say that because I had not “Learned” to pray yet. No formulas, no favorite scriptures to quote, no memorized words. Just me & God & my open heart.
Maybe I didn't fail after all. Hope to see you soon!
Live for Christ,
Pastor Dan
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